Be Loved: Be Whole (The Feast Bay Area Part 2)

I attended my very first Feast last July 17, 2016 and the topic at that time is Be Loved: Be Whole. The talked was done by Bo Sanchez, his talked revolved around a verse, the thought of it is, Jesus Christ is like a treasure in a field that was known because you tripped along the way and when you see the treausre you throw away everything and bought that field.

When we read verse without comprehension and understanding it only mean simple things that is irrelevant in our life but if you connect it to our everyday life you see how amazing that verse is. Bo share his time when he accepted Jesus at the age of 12 and all thing that happen to him when he throw away everything to be with Jesus.

I too already accepted Jesus Christ as my saviour when  I was already 19, almost too late for realization but better be late than sorry. At that time I am emotionally unstable, I felt all alone when I have my family and friends. Like nobody is listening to me because they didn’t simply care. I have too many burden at that time in family, study and some issues in everything that I decide to just run away from home, stop studying and rebel against everyone. I cried almost every night asking myself why this, why that.

At that time, my parents is busy and too focus with their one year old grandchild, that me as their youngest child they almost forgot. Before I have my niece, I have their attention, care and love, they listen to what I have to say my problems at school, my dilemmas and troubles but it changes when my niece arrives, I feel like she grabs everything from me. I became bitter to any one, I stop talking about my problems to them until I stop talking nonetheless, I stop coming to dinner, I go home late at night, I begin to think to move to an apartment just to not see them and I started giving them hints that I might die or something like that. Even my friends is not helping my parents when they asked them what was happening because I also stop talking to them, I laugh and smile that’s given but I didn’t give them a hint that there was something wrong.

This continued until, I get myself sick, I was dignosed with an anemia (not life threatening), too much stress, not enough sleep and food intake. Amidst all of these, they never asked me what happened, the reason, I was only waiting for the question for me to confide but it didn’t happen. I just bottled it up inside of me, I cry everynight just to ease the pain, I laught too hard just to stop my mind by asking myself the whys. It continued until my grades to one of my accounting subject dropped and I might be removed in the program if I didn’t pass the remedial exam. I was thinking at that time to just give up, what’s with trying too hard when everything else crumpled. But I took the remedial exam even though I was already prepared to fail at that time.

My parents has no idea that I almost flunk my subject and be removed as an accounting student, they also didn’t know the remedials, the cries we did to our accounting professor just to pass us. No. None. I said to myself why did they have to know, they didn’t care anyway. My friends pass that particular subject and moving to the next semester but me, I am stucked, that’s why I felt more alone than before.

Until one of my high school friends gived me a table figurine with a bible verse for my upcoming birthday, the verse is Jeremiah 29:11, it became my life verse since then. Then I realized that all this time I am not alone. November 27, 2013, when I accepted Jesus Christ as my saviour and the Father as my God, I cried during my personal acceptance. When I accepted Him, I also accepted the fact that I am not the sole receiver of my parents affection that I must share them with my niece and future nieces and nephews and I accepted my fate if I will be removed from the program it is by God’s plan in me. I throw away everything that day, my anxiety, my troubles, my happiness and especially my life to My Father and My Saviour. I make Them my everything in my world full of nothingness. When I do that, everything changes.

I passed my remedial exam, I can still continue with the progrm along with my friends. I got a time to talked with my parents, tell them what transpired my behaviour the last few months, also I updated them what happens in school, at first they were bewildered that such things happened but they just listen and that’s what I want. Now, everything was fine, never perfect but we talked things, we solved things as a family, we do fight a lot, we share cry, smiles and laughs – it was not a perfect family because it will be booooring but it is what we all needed the normalcy of everything. Also, I passed my board exam, I do have a title now and a work in one of the known company in the country.

I still have a long way to go in terms of many aspects of life but I know that I already found the treasure everyone is looking for, and I put that treasure in everything. I am once been broken and alone, tripped and afraid to stand again, not felt the loved those around me have for me but in those time when I felt it all at once, I found the very source of everything and He made me whole, He helped me in my fights and He loved me from my very core. When everything didn’t matter anymore in this world when I am a nobody, He became my guide, my support, my companion, my friend, my lover and eventually He became my God. I am loved and I am whole, so everyone of you, always remember “You are Loved”.

My First Feast (The Feast Bay Area Part 1)

Beforehand, I already heard this kind of gatherings by Catholic-Christians, there are Holy Mass and Praise and Worship also an Inspirational talk, there’s nothing out of the ordinary in this gathering except the last two event (Praise and Worship and Inspirational talk). Commonly if you are a Catholic Holy Mass is the usual event during Sunday and the Praise and Worship and Inspirational talk is commonly done by Christians, so, when putting these together is another one.

I decided to attend my very first Feast on July 17, out of curiousity and also the fact that I want my religion to be mine alone, not something that pass down by my parents or not that it is what expecting out of me because I am a Catholic but because it is my own way of worship.

One of my friends already attended several Feast before, that’s why I ask her to tag me along when she decided to go. She informed me that every Inspirational talk done during the event has a topic and luckily, the topic that will be tackle is Be Loved. The one wherein I have some issues of.

We arrived just on the venue just on time, but they are still a lot of people making their way toward the event place. As the usual Catholic sunday,it started with the Holy Mass, presided by a black American priest (I don’t know the name) so basically the language used in the entire Mass is English which is I preferred anyway. The Eucharist is about Martha and Elizabeth, on how different the two woman in terms of serving Jesus Christ.

The priest conveys the homily in a sense that our reality is incorporated in the Eucharist and it was delivered nicely and straight to the point with some example to give importance to some points in the Eucharist. Personally, I think this is what should be a Homily to be done with precision and incorporation and to show the value in every verse read.

After the Holy Mass is the Praise and Worship and Inspirational talk, the songs sung during the Praise and Worship is really moving it made me shiver just by listening and to know that there are still youth who spends time just to sing for the Lord made me want to join them. There are jumping, dancing, clapping and waving of the hands during these event and everyone from all walk of life or any ages is participating. I only witnesses this kind of worshipping when I attended a Christian event last year and I never expected that this was possible in an event full of Catholics.

Then the talk, it was done by Bo Sanchez, an inspiration to many, an author to some but a person to all. His talk tackled the second face of Be Loved event and it named Be whole.

Overall, it brought tears to many, smiles to some and a lesson to everyone. Before the event ended, I already decided that I am going back to it whenever I am here in Metro, this will be my Sunday habit here in a place full of everything and nothingness. This might be my first time in a Feast but definitely not the last. The Feast that day ended with a blast and it indeed is the best place in the world.

The Beauty Inside 2015 (Movie)

The first time I stumble this movie in the internet and read the plot, I got curious that’s why I downloaded it right away. Then there I already have a copy.

But even though I have a copy and it got my curiousity, I never watched it. It’s been in our computer for five months but I nerver dared to play or sneak a peek from it or even to read the synopsis of it in the internet.

My second older brother, copied it to his friend’s USB – I don’t know, out of boredom I guess. Then when he talked to me he said that his friend’s wife watched it and said that it was a splendid movie with a lesson and a whole package of fantasy. Even after that talked and review from others, I still never watched it, except for today.

I am bored out of my wits in my apartment so I decided I’m going to watched The Beauty Inside, good thing it’s copied in my tablet. Then I watched it while taking my lunch and goodness my lunch took 2 hours to finish, the same lenght of the movie. Hahaha!!!

I already know the plot of the movie but I was still beyond amaze to the impact it can give you.

The movie is all about a man (furniture designer and maker) that every time he wokes up he changes, not only to the personality but also to the appearance, even the voice and the functionality of all his five senses. He changes from old man, a woman, a child, a middle age man,  a foreigner and to any one. He already used to it and to his kind of lifestyle and living in solidarity and being alone, that’s his reality. But it alters when he met a young, joyfull and kindhearted sales representative in a furniture shop. They began dating eventually, but he can’t sleep because his afraid that the next time he woke he changes and never to see the woman again. He tried to stop seeing her, but the woman is still waiting for him so he decided to tell her the truth. At firts the woman is not believing him (sino ba kasi?), then E-soo (the woman’s name) gave  Woo jin ( the man) a chance to prove himself so she decided to sleep over. And there she believed everything. They continued dating and started a relationship.

The couple visited Woo jin’s mom, there the two woman began to talk and end up to an advise from Mom to not get herself hurt (E-soo), which was a mystery to  E-soo that time. The couple were really happy, even if there were gossips surrounding E-soo’s realtionship in her workplace that she is promiscous, she didn’t care. But that’s only on the outside, for E-soo was having a hard time, she didnt’ get enough sleep, always stress and mostly afraid to Woo-jin and herself. She bottled it up inside that took a toll on her body resulting to memory loss and dizziness. She get a talk with a psychiatrist about what’s inside of her and the doctor advises to stop seeing Woo jin.

She was persistent and not taking the advise wholeheartedly, until she break down and collapse. Woo jin takes her to the hospital and there he gets to know the truth, about her getting pills and her seeing a psychiatrist and all her fears. He went to talk with his mother, whom lately he is not regulary seeing (for he was caught up in his relationship with E-soo), and he knows the truth to his condition and his past.

His father is like him also, changes every time he wakes up. For Mom loves his Dad, they married but one day when Mom wokes up his Dad disappear, Mom not knowing to which person her husband changes into she started searching and find him. But that incident changes everything to Mom, everytime she’s sleeping she fears the next morning, for everytime she looks to her husband face she saw a stranger and she fears that she can’t remember who her husband was. And like E-soo she too, take pills to keep the emotions at bay. But that led the Dad to disappear permanently. Mom said to Woo jin “I love him but I gave him the meaning to leave me. She will be alright as long as you two are not together.”

When E-soo was out of the hospital and  fine already, Woo jin take her home and while on the way to E-soo’s house, he broke up to E-soo and said “Stop taking the pills, okay”

Ten months later, everything is back to normal, so it seems. E-soo is beyond fine, working already in the furniture shop, taking exercise and living. When she caught a news regarding a furniture maker and designer in Czech Republic, and when she saw the pictures of the furniture, she stop in utter disbelief. The next day, she ask Woo jin’s friend about Woo jin and she receives nothing from the guy, until she saw a package from Czech and stating to herself “Czech Republic. That’s so far.” When she was entering tha furniture shop (where she was working) she met a man listening to a music, the same music Woo jin and she were listening to and there she cried. She then realized that, yes, she have many fears  but the worse is living without him.

A man is showing making furniture when he hears his doorbell rings, when he opened it, there is E-soo, asking if is there was a man named Woo jin living there,the man cut her off stating that she must be mistaken but E-soo persuade the man that she came from a furniture shop in Korea and she’s interested to see the inside of the workplace. Eventually that man is Woo jin, and by the looks and feels of it, his taken aback when he sees E-soo. He went to the kitchen to make some tea, when E-soo held his hand a called out his name, and saying that she is fine now. But Woo jin states that, she will be sick again, then E-soo counter him by saying “Yeah, I may get sick again but living without you is the worse.”

The last scene, is the two walking hand in hand, and E-soo proposing marriage to Woo jin, then Woo jin takes out a ring box made out of wood and slips the handmade ring in E-soo’s hand, then E-soo damanding a proper proposal but instead she receives a kiss while
Woo jin is alternating from person to person. The end!! 🙌🙌🙌🙌

Post credit scene, Mom is talking to an old man, talking about her fears for their son to becoming like him and fears that led her to forget about him. Then the old man (Woo jin’s Dad), says “I know. I always watching you from afar.” Mom smiles, and said “I knew it, too, I could feel you were there. I am not afraid of being hurt anymore. But another thing scares me. What if something happens to you while ypur drifting away from me. Then we would be done without having been together with each other. Can you just be with me?” Then they held hands, showing their rings.

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